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THE ACROBATThere was a young fellow named DickWho perfected a wonderful trick:He’d get an erectionAnd scorn all protection,Then balance himself on his prick.‘Twas a fearful and wonderful sight;And the ladies all shrieked with delight;But the men were less zealous,For it made them all jealous,And they said Dick had no copyright!Then each of them tried it and failed,While their wives looked on helpless and wailedFor each one would teeterAnd fall on his peter,Or manage to get all derailed.So Dick was the toast of the town;There was nothing too good for that clown,And the wives all came flockingTo the acrobat’s cocking,While the husbands deplored his renown.And then came the best part of all:That number would bring down the hall;For his tour-de-force trickWas to straddle his prick,And wheel out of sight on one ball!The ladies all ran to tease DickThat the Frenchman had bettered his trick;So he straddled and struggled,And one ball he juggled,But he knocked out his prop with a kick.Now the. I almost fell off my chair as I continued reading it. It seemed Dad and Doreen were coming up for Melissa's wedding. Who thehell invited them? "Aunt Melissa!" I screamed as I ran down the stairs."Who invited my father and his girlfriend to my cousin's wedding?" Thiscouldn't be happening, could it? "Relax Joan. Your mother and I talked it over and decided that it wouldbe for the best."The best for whom? Why would Mom want him there? This made no sense to meat all. I sputtered onward with my objections but they just pooh-poohedthem all. Could I attend the wedding wearing my pink dress with my fatherand Doreen there? Yes, I wanted to see my sister when she was born, but Istill had a fair amount of anger pent-up from the whole situation. As ten P.M. neared, I bade them goodnight. I also informed my mother thatI'd never again call her out sick. Incredulously, they both laughed atme. Did they think it was all a joke? I wasn't ready to be my mother'smother. I started to think that Mom could.
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